The World’s Most Improbable Gardener

I am possibly the world’s most improbable gardener.

For starters, I don’t like the feel of dirt. I mean, I really don’t like touching it. My friend Babs loves nothing more than being elbow deep in dirt. Wallowing in mud, even. Me, not so much. The feel of dried mud on my hands is like fingers on a chalkboard to me and try as I have, I can’t change it. I’m just sensitive that way.

I also don’t like bugs. No I don’t mean just spiders, which is a fairly universal phobia. I don’t like any of them, and I don’t care what category they fall under, they are all “bugs” to me because they bug me.

Well, that’s not strictly true. I like ladybugs, or “bugly ugs” as my grandmother used to call them (a.k.a. ugly bugs). They are cute and red and eat lots of other nasty bugs like aphids.

And I like earthworms, because they eat dirt and leave it in better shape than they found it. They also don’t move fast and are shy, burrowing quickly to get away not buzzing about one’s head and things of that nature.

But other than that, I don’t like bugs. I do like bats, though, because they eat bugs.

The fact that I may be the world’s most improbable gardener, should encourage you. If I can do this, pretty much anyone can do this.